Claire’s Story
I was taken into care at the age of seven, as my mother suffered with paranoid schizophrenia and until the age of 12 years old I was carted off to boarding schools during term time and various children’s homes during the holidays. I was occasionally placed into foster care in the holidays when things started to get difficult but then I went back to children’s homes again and I remained at boarding school until the age of 16.
Leaving care at the age of 18 years I was faced with the responsibility of running a one bedroom flat with no support and even though I worked, I got myself into arrears and had difficulty paying the rent. I then started getting notices of possession and if that wasn’t enough my electricity got cut off for over six months and I remember spending Christmas in the cold and on my own. I then had my daughter and was forced to bring her up as a single parent because her father was a gambler and would occasionally steal money to fund his habit.
I was eventually given my lucky break in the form of a job working for a union. This meant I no longer had to claim housing benefit and I could afford pay all my bills, which was fantastic news as my previous jobs had never amounted to much. I then moved to a lovely flat before meeting my partner and moving to Ipswich where we bought a house.
I began to play the bingo online and after a few smaller wins I eventually won the jackpot which was £3,000. I had a few problems at work with different managers and was worried about being out of work, which meant I started to play more frequently and the debts started to increase. I then took voluntary severance and paid off all my debt.
I began job hunting but was only offered a few temporary jobs that did not amount to much, which meant I started to get really bored and frustrated with the situation and began gambling again. I won a few grand but I lost a lot of money and I started gambling with my credit cards. My debts started to increase again but I carried on.
I got so depressed and didn’t care anymore. I was existing not living and I had lost control. I would have mood swings getting really angry and cut myself off which made me feel more isolated. I had outstanding debt that just mounted up from gambling and this had a knock-on effect on my partner who tried to pay off some of the debt, whilst still paying the mortgage and bills, on just one wage and we used all his savings.
My life was going dramatically downhill and I felt useless and I just wanted to go back to living a normal life again. I had lost control which really scared me and I needed help with my gambling problem so I phoned GamCare up who arranged for me to come to NORCAS to see a counsellor.
I met a counsellor and we spoke regarding my gambling problems and she helped me to look at why I was gambling and what were the real issues behind the gambling. We then looked at ways we could stop those. I found my counsellor the most helpful person in seeing a way forward and understanding what had got me to where I was and I was able to open up and be honest.
Gamblers come in all shapes and sizes and often go unnoticed because they are so good at lying. I don’t think women gamblers come forward as women are looked at as being more responsible – they feel shame and embarrassment and responsibility for their kids too.
I hope that in the future more women come forward to seek help – women live in the dark trying to hold the family up. My aim is to live a more fulfilling life and be able to pay all my debts off and never to gamble again.